I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
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Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
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we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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