she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize