that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
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So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
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bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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