I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Terrible idea I love it
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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