I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
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i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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