fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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