Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize