that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
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I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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