She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I see more hoeing in ur future
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize