guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize