Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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