O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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