he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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