Jerry, you need to find god
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize