can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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