i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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