Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize