If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize