I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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