There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
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