Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
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we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she peed on how many people?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
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I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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