i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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