Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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