I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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