He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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