My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize