she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
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I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
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Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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