you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize