I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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