I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How does it feel to date your dad?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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