I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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