Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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