his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
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I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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