Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My ass is underappreciated
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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