what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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