you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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