either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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