Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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