I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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