my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize