another moral hangover. fuck.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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