Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.

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  (828): if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now. http://tfl.nu/f98q
  Replies (14) Good night (1987) Bad night (1177) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me

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  (772): i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me http://tfl.nu/tlrb
  Replies (125) Good night (1694) Bad night (23578) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I threw up into my coffee this morning.

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  (218): I threw up into my coffee this morning. http://tfl.nu/fytz
  Replies (10) Good night (769) Bad night (4893) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.

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  (202): Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology. http://tfl.nu/sp8t
  Replies (32) Good night (9836) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking

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  (301): I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking http://tfl.nu/pou2
  Replies (4) Good night (3743) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles

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  (301): He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles http://tfl.nu/qmb2
  Replies (8) Good night (1290) Bad night (2350) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience

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  (978): Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience http://tfl.nu/snc8
  Replies (12) Good night (2562) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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  (213): View more from California

  Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch

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  (213): Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch http://tfl.nu/21eo
  Replies (8) Good night (2185) Bad night (638)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance

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  (617): thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance http://tfl.nu/zdkv
  Replies (10) Good night (2165) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.

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  (717): I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink. http://tfl.nu/gbhu
  Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...

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  (619): Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by... http://tfl.nu/g8gw
  Replies (9) Good night (3568) Bad night (583)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.

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  (203): what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/l6g2
  Replies (9) Good night (1200) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.

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  (+61): That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him. http://tfl.nu/ztsm
  Replies (4) Good night (1348) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed

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  (425): This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed http://tfl.nu/f7du
  Replies (1) Good night (758) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.

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  (973): You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him. http://tfl.nu/xmf9
  Replies (4) Good night (492) Bad night (210)

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