D3 body, D1 cock
You just made me feel so damn special
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
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Boobs speak an international language.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just had sex on a roof
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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