thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
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I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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