My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
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This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
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I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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