high people should be assigned attendants
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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