im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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