I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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