You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize