So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
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I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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